I know, you thought it was going to be part 2. Psych! Yeah, I'm bringing "pysch" back. From the 90's. We're gonna play POGS and yell "NOT!" and "PYSCH" at each other.
Instead of that, I'm going to share some pick up lines with you.
Guys seem to take a certain freedom with pick up lines on the internet, because I'm sure in real life they would choke on their own tongue if they tried to talk to me. On the computer, alone in their house, they imagine that they stride up to me, possibly holding a rose, and dip me back in my barstool saying:
Pick Up Line # 5
I think you are, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women on this site... And that is an understatement... To add more to that, you sound like you have an amazing personality, at least from what I have read about you...
I know that I have already written to you, and you probably just ignored it, (I did) since there are so many guys out here that just want to get laid and throw you away after they get what they want... I am not like that, and I just want to treat you like a goddess... I want you to be my Cleopatra.
Oh man. Can't hold myself back from that one. But does he want to be Caesar or Antony? That's a pretty telling question.
Pick Up Line #4
Hey cutie im a marine
Dayum. Hold me back guys! That was the whole message, nothing else. Hey buddy, I teach children's theater! Sup.
Pick Up Line #3
I eat a lot of mustard.... and i can't stop going back to the trampoline picture. what is it with hot ladies bouncing on trampolines that makes it so hot! sorry.
I love this one for so many reason. The "trampoline" picture he refers to is a picture of me in a sweatshirt and jeans jumping on a tiny tiny trampoline. Don't be thinking that I posted a bikini picture of me jumping. Gross. My bikini picture is me being really flexible. Geeze. I have some pride.
Pick Up Line #2
When are you going to admit your attraction for me? lol You seem very interesting! I would like to get a chance to know you!? Maybe a drink or something of your choosing?!
Me: I guess when you start using punctuation correctly!
Nah, your right! I dont have time for a perfectionist over silly shit. Your loss! C YA
I was in a bad mood that day. To be fair, he is probably right. Not about the "my loss" thing. But about the perfectionist over silly shit. I can't help it! He just seemed crazy excited with his punctuation!
Pick Up Line #1
I almost don't want to post this, because he really needs no boost to his ego. But I have never laughed so hard at a pick up "line".
While I am flattered that you wish to swoop in and meet me just like that, understand I have a few reservations, as any insane man masquerading as a sane man masquerading as an insane man such as myself would have before jumping into bed with every seductive siren that beckons hither.
But really, did you have to send me 73 messages in a 24 hour span? Okay... I'll bite.. you've got my attention... congratulations.. You sure chose an odd way to go about it, but it has worked, I'll admit that much.
I was confused by that first note, but when you followed that odd letter with some poetry, I was intrigued.. but no sooner had you written, when you immediately sent me a follow up message asking why I had not responded to your poems. I'm sorry, but I'm not on here at all hours, and hadn't even received your message. Then you left that note stapled to my live cat, in MEXICO, and I have to admit, it was all a bit much, and believe me, I was kind of creeped out by the whole thing, but then I remembered that I made all of this up, and that you aren't crazy and I'm only pretending to be, and I felt better after that.
So, fine.. I'm sold... I submit to your demands of unbridled lust and debauchery, though part of me thinks that the imaginary you that wrote me an imaginary letter is going to great lengths to just confuse me into meeting you out of sheer curiosity. That would be a dirty ploy, and I sincerely hope that it isn't the case.
Puzzled but intrigued,
Still have not met this gentleman in person, because I'm still not convinced he is not going to kidnap me and sell me to sex slavers in Mexico. I was convinced it was some sort of insane form letter that he sends to everyone he meets on okcupid, but he assures me this is not the case.
I hope you guys are having a lovely day. It finally smells like Fall, I have a date tomorrow, and I have a million books from the library to read today. And eventually I will take a shower.
I'm just so happy to not go to work today, I don't even care what I do!
I've had a couple people tell me they are reading this blog, so what's up guys? Comment a little, show me some love. What is your worst pick up line? Whether you've had it said to you, or you just made it up. Post it!
Best so far is that angry Colombian yelling things at me at Wing Masters then throwing a wad of bills at me ( one hundred wrapped around a wad of ones?) then watching him fall down some stairs. Be still my heart.
ReplyDeleteHi Katie-
ReplyDeleteI read about your disbelief that people don't read your blog, they just tell you they do. I understand that. Well, I don't really have pick up lines per se, but some interesting stories involving Tico men (in Costa Rica). One guy I danced with at a bar was eager to let me feel his salute to me in his pants. While his friends were behind him egging him on. Another time, I went with a group of people to Panama for a long weekend and was hit on hard core by a rather attractive black guy. I was sitting with 3 other girls and he came up and danced with the 4 of us, all at the same time. (Player! but so sweet!) A few minutes later, he pulls me aside toward the water (sigh, the romance [gag]) and explains to me (in spanish) that he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl at the bar and that he danced with all my friends so that he could show me he was a good guy. He kept trying to kiss me (which I dodged) while insisting that there was no other woman in his life. Wait, did I ask you that? No. So therefore you MUST have another woman in your life because, well, you "protest too much". It was an interesting conversation (and in spanish!) but he couldn't hold a candle to my boyfriend back home. Then there was another guy in a different town who danced with me at one bar, found me at another later on and pulled me out of sight of my friends to dance on the most crowded dance floor I have ever been on. That was one of the only times I was a bit scared, mostly because I was slightly intoxicated and had no idea where my friends were. But I escaped unscathed.
So there's my stories for you. Keep yours up! I really enjoy reading about how things are going, but I especially enjoy the dry, sarcastic delivery. Sarcasm was my first language, y'know.
Reesa